My husband is a pretty hardcore Seinfeld fan and if you've ever been a fan of the series you know who the "Soup Nazi" is. Stick with me, I'm headed somewhere, I promise. My husband, at times, very lovingly refers to me as the "Picture Nazi". I earned this title, which I wear with pride, because I have always put an emphasis on taking pictures and getting them taken. We started dating in high school. It took us just over 3 weeks to finally have a first date because of our busy schedules. However, we had pictures together after 6 short months. I'm not talking about snapshots on a friend's point and shoot (cell phones were not cameras at that time after all). I mean a scheduled, get dressed up and go sit in really awkward positions portrait sitting. In hind sight they weren't the sort of portraits I would pick again for our first, but I was glad at the time to have some formal pictures of us together.
My obsession... er, fondness of getting pictures taken only got worse once we had out first child. This is when I was given my title. While I was more flexible before, once she was here, portrait sessions became a common place in our household and a yearly family picture was mandated. It's less than what I like, but there has to be some degree of compromise.
Recently I examined the framed photographs which litter our house and I noticed hubby and I appear less frequently than our children, which is really to be expected. But then I began to assess the unframed photos. The ones I have set aside for all that scrapbooking I intend to get to and I realize 1 member of our family is uncommonly absent from those images; me.
There are plenty of posts, some famous, by photographers with stories of moms who put off getting pictures taken with themselves in the picture, who lost the chance to ever do so. Stories of children left behind with very few images of a mother they hold close to their heart, but will not get to put their arms around again. I won't throw a big downer of a wrench in your day by sharing one here.
I lost my dad when I was 19 and I don't have a slew of photos of him. Those that I do have, mostly candid snapshots, I cherish. They are framed and put in a special place as though they were priceless prints. Because they are. They are a reminder of a man who loved me without condition or restraint. A reminder of a man who would have given anything to have been able to be there the day I got married and the days I welcomed our two daughters.
So as I look through our photographs, I wonder what reminders I am leaving behind for our girls. Time fades memories. Pictures are a special gift in that seeing a picture can bring a memory back more vibrant than anything else. I want to be sure I am leaving those gifts for our daughters too.
Women put aside being in pictures for a bevy of reasons... Here are a few of my own:
1. It feels impossible to find the time to arrange for them and then there's all the work that goes into it... coordinating outfits, coordinating schedules, making sure kids are rested, worry over any hassle.
2. I could stand to lose 20 er... 50lbs. I mean really, who wants to see a constant reminder of how fat they are? I can admit it, I don't.
3. Why do today what can be put off until tomorrow? I'll confess that when it comes to stuff for myself I am a procrastinator.
4. I stink at the whole holding the camera away from you and snapping your own picture thing. Really, I can't frame a shot without looking through a viewfinder.
What I realize now though is that while those all may have some merit, in the end, they are truly poor excuses to risk leaving my children without a plethora of memories of me that they can hold into eternity if/when something should ever happen to me.
I'm not speaking of just family photos. While moms are usually family-centric people, we're women too and it's important to be sure you have that captured as well. So take an hour or so while the kids are at school or with a sitter and get some pictures of just you and you and your husband. Remind your children that they have two parents who are beautiful people and who love each other dearly. They don't have to be portraits done by a pro, it can be something you do with a friend where you regularly trade off taking pictures of each other. Shoot, make it a girls' night and have some real fun with it.
Even family photos don't have to be a big event or overly complicated. My husband and I take advantage of the self timer on our camera on each of our daughter's birthdays and get a photo of us with just that daughter to mark the occasion each year. Easy, simple and relatively stress free. And I have several great friends with whom I am offering to trade off photographing each other playing with our kids. Even if it's just at their favorite playground, it'll be a magical memory to capture.
As for weight, well at least I'll have a great photographic record to look back at how much I've lost when I loose it all, right? If nothing else, I imagine it's one more motivator to loose it, which certainly can't hurt.
So I encourage you to stop putting off photos of yourself and photos with family. There's no rule stating you have to get them printed 20x30 and plastered to a wall in your home like a billboard. Even if they end up in a scrapbook or photo box for safe keeping, at least you'll know that if and when something should ever happen to you, your children and family will have a way to relive the wonderful mother/wife/daughter you are and some of the amazing times you shared together. Isn't that the sort of legacy you want to leave for your children? Even if it means you're called the "Picture Nazi".
Happy Snapping!
April
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